Arm & Hammer Super Deodorizing Shampoo for Dogs

Dad

You didn't look thrilled when I brought this home. First impressions?

Boldo

It looked like a bottle of something that would involve being wet. The cap was blue. I sniffed it and got zero interesting smells. Just a vague chemical promise. The cat walked past and didn't even pause. That tells you something.

Dad

Tell me about the texture. I know you have opinions about texture.

Boldo

It came out as a thick white blob. Not runny like the stuff that smells like fake flowers. This one felt like cold yogurt on my back. Dad rubbed it in and it actually lathered. I'll give it that. Some shampoos just slide off and leave patches. This one meant business.

Dad

So it's been a few days. Have your feelings changed at all?

Boldo

I admit I haven't tried to roll in dirt yet. Usually by day two I find something dead to reclaim my scent. But my coat still feels clean. I smell like… nothing. That's either really good or really concerning. Dad says I don't stink. I'll take it. Also, can I have a treat? The bath was traumatic.

Dad

The cat got one of these too. I'm curious what you make of that.

Boldo

The cat now smells like 'nothing' too. That's a problem. Now I can't sneak up on her because she doesn't have her usual sour dusty aura. It's disorienting. I don't know if I should growl or play. I'll growl anyway. Out of principle.

Dad

Bottom line — poo emojis. How many?

Boldo

Four. I hate giving it that many because now Dad will buy it again. But it works, it didn't make my eyes sting, and I don't smell like a wet basement. Fine. Four poos.