Benadryl for Dogs

Dad

I got this for you. What's your initial read?

Boldo

I didn't taste it until it was down my throat. Sneaky move. The tablet itself smells like chalk and broken promises, but there's something underneath—some kind of coating that's almost sweet. Not food sweet. Fake sweet. Like the medicine cabinet smells.

Dad

Let's talk smells. That always comes first with you.

Boldo

The pill has almost no smell until it dissolves. That's actually annoying because I have no warning. One second I'm doing my thing, next second my mouth tastes like a pharmacy. There's a faint mint thing going on, which seems dishonest given the context. Mint doesn't make something taste better when you're already committed to being miserable.

Dad

You've been weirdly quiet about this one. What's going on?

Boldo

Because it actually works and I hate admitting that. My ears stopped itching. My face doesn't feel like it's on fire anymore. I can smell things properly again instead of everything being muffled by constant discomfort. I'm sleeping better. But you got the cheap tablets, not the ones that taste like treats, so don't expect me to be happy about the delivery system. Is that chicken I smell from the kitchen? Did you cook chicken?

Dad

Does it matter that the cat seems indifferent to it?

Boldo

The cat doesn't have allergies because the cat is already insufferable in every other way. If the cat had to take this, it would definitely refuse on principle. I'm not trying to brag about my allergies, but at least I'm dealing with an actual medical issue. The cat just knocks things off counters because it enjoys chaos.

Dad

Give me a rating. One through five. You know what the poos mean.

Boldo

Four poos. It does exactly what you said it would do. I can breathe. I can smell. I'm not miserable. You can't ask for more than that from medicine. I don't love you for giving it to me, but I'm not mad anymore either.