Benadryl for Dogs

Dad

I got this for you. What's your initial read?

Boldo

My initial read is that you handed me a small, chalky thing that smells like nothing and then expected me to swallow it. I gave you the side-eye. I still have the side-eye.

Dad

Let's talk smells. That always comes first with you.

Boldo

It doesn't smell like anything. That's suspicious. Even cardboard has a smell. This feels like a trick. Also, is that the mailman? I need to check. I'll be right back. Okay, false alarm. Where was I? Smells. None. Moving on.

Dad

You've been weirdly quiet about this one. What's going on?

Boldo

I've been asleep. You gave me a pill that made my face stop itching, but then my whole body went heavy. I don't like being heavy. Also, the cat is sitting on the rug doing nothing, and I feel like I missed something important. Can I have a treat now? I performed a swallow.

Dad

Does it matter that the cat seems indifferent to it?

Boldo

Of course the cat is indifferent. The cat doesn't have allergies. The cat has smugness. Why does the cat get to nap without medicine and I get a pill that makes me nap? That's not fair. But I did nap well. I'll give it that.

Dad

Give me a rating. One through five. You know what the poos mean.

Boldo

Three poos. It worked. I stopped scratching. But it's a pill, and pills are not treats, and I had to be tricked into eating it inside a glob of peanut butter. The peanut butter was good. The pill was not. So three. Don't expect me to thank you.