Bissell Pet Hair Eraser Handheld Vacuum

Dad

I saw this one online. Thought it looked good. Your first reaction?

Boldo

It's loud. Way louder than I expected. Also the motor smells like burning—not actually burning, but that kind of new electric smell. Not great. Why does it have to be so purple?

Dad

Okay, you've been staring at it for ten minutes. What's the verdict on smell?

Boldo

The plastic housing smells like a factory. Cheap. But underneath that there's something almost like burnt rubber and metal dust. I can still smell my own hair on the brush, which means it's sucking up real stuff. That's something, I guess. Is that bacon in the kitchen?

Dad

Now that you've actually used it — what do you think?

Boldo

It actually works. Got the hair off the couch in seconds. The suction is strong. Still too loud—it makes me flinch every time you turn it on. And the cord is short, which is annoying for you. But it does what you bought it for. I don't want to admit that, but there it is.

Dad

The cat hasn't touched it. Does that mean something?

Boldo

The cat hides when you use it. Smart. She knows it's the enemy. Me? I'm indifferent now. She's more dramatic about noise than I am. Speaking of which, can we please get some treats? I've been very cooperative.

Dad

Rate it. One to five. You know what the ones are.

Boldo

Four. It works better than I expected. Gets my hair off everything without falling apart. The noise is still annoying, the cord is stupid short, and it smells like a factory floor. But it's reliable and does the job. Could've been worse. Probably worth the money.