Blue Buffalo Life Protection Dry Dog Food

Dad

I got this for you. What's your initial read?

Boldo

It's fine. Better than the Purina stuff you used to buy. The kibble is bigger, which means less time eating and more time doing other things. Like staring out the window. There's a cardinal out there right now, actually.

Dad

Let's talk smells. That always comes first with you.

Boldo

Chicken is the first thing. Real chicken. Then something else—fish maybe, or just the rendering process. I can't tell. But it's not the artificial vanilla-peanut situation the old food had. It actually smells like meat. I respect that.

Dad

You've been weirdly quiet about this one. What's going on?

Boldo

I'm taking it slow. I don't trust it yet. Just because it smells good doesn't mean it won't upset my stomach in three days like the last premium thing you tried. I've been disappointed before. I need to see consistent performance. Do you have a treat? I'm testing this theory on an empty stomach and I feel betrayed.

Dad

Does it matter that the cat seems indifferent to it?

Boldo

No. The cat is indifferent to everything except sleeping on the kitchen counter and knocking my water bowl over. If the cat liked it, I'd actually be suspicious. The cat has no opinions. I have opinions. My opinion is that I've eaten three bowls now and haven't thrown up.

Dad

Give me a rating. One through five. You know what the poos mean.

Boldo

Four. It's solid. The smell is legitimate, the texture doesn't feel like sawdust, and it's not making me sick. I won't celebrate it or anything, but I'll eat it without the dramatic sigh I do with other food. That's as good as it gets with me.