Canidae PURE Real Salmon Limited Ingredient Dog Food

Dad

I saw this one online. Thought it looked good. Your first reaction?

Boldo

The bag crinkled the right way. That’s about all I’ll give it. I sniffed the air once and walked away. Fish is not my first choice, but I’m not a cat.

Dad

Okay, you've been staring at it for ten minutes. What's the verdict on smell?

Boldo

It smells like a salmon that forgot to be subtle. Not bad, not good. Somewhere between the river and the can. I’d rate the aroma a 3 out of 10 if we’re being honest. Also, is that bacon I smell from the kitchen? Can we talk about that?

Dad

Now that you've actually used it — what do you think?

Boldo

It crunches. It doesn’t get stuck in my teeth. I ate a bowl without stopping to glare at you. That’s high praise from me. My stomach didn’t make angry noises afterward, which is rare. But let’s see if you buy it again.

Dad

The cat hasn't touched it. Does that mean something?

Boldo

The cat only touches things that are either expensive or forbidden. She walked past this bag like it was a cardboard box. That means it’s not interesting. Or she’s plotting. Either way, I don’t trust her judgment. But I will note the lack of feline interest.

Dad

Rate it. One to five. You know what the ones are.

Boldo

Fine. You want a number? Four. I’m giving it four poos out of five. It’s not a steak, but it didn’t make me regret breakfast. Don’t expect me to beg for it.