Chuckit! Ultra Ball

Dad

You didn't look thrilled when I brought this home. First impressions?

Boldo

It smells like rubber and the warehouse it came from. Not offensive. Not interesting either. I waited to see if you'd throw it or if this was just another thing you'd leave on the kitchen counter.

Dad

Tell me about the texture. I know you have opinions about texture.

Boldo

It's got a slightly bumpy grip—not smooth like those cheap tennis balls you used to buy. The rubber is thicker. Doesn't feel like it'll shred into my teeth within two days, which is something. The texture actually makes it easier to grab mid-air.

Dad

So it's been a few days. Have your feelings changed at all?

Boldo

I'm not going to sit here and tell you it changed my life. But when you pick it up, I do come over now instead of pretending to be asleep. Is that treats time by the way? I smell something in the pantry and I'm genuinely concerned you're opening something and not offering me any.

Dad

The cat got one of these too. I'm curious what you make of that.

Boldo

The cat has a ball. The cat will not chase it the way I chase it. The cat will bat it under the refrigerator and then stare at me like it's my problem. This is fine. I prefer not to compete anyway.

Dad

Bottom line — poo emojis. How many?

Boldo

Four. It holds up. It flies straight. The texture is legit better than the bargain bins. I'm not going to pretend I'm emotional about a ball, but this one doesn't disappoint after day three.