Dogit Jawz Waste Bag Dispenser

Dad

You didn't look thrilled when I brought this home. First impressions?

Boldo

It's plastic. Cold plastic. No smell worth mentioning. You know what would have made this interesting? If it smelled like the garbage. Or anything. But no. Just hung it there like a trophy for something I didn't accomplish.

Dad

Tell me about the texture. I know you have opinions about texture.

Boldo

Hard plastic exterior. Not chewable. I tested it. The bag holder part inside is rubber-ish—slightly tacky, which is fine. The whole thing is designed so you can't actually get your mouth on anything good. Very purposeful. Very annoying. Also, is that bacon I smell from the kitchen?

Dad

So it's been a few days. Have your feelings changed at all?

Boldo

Fine. I'll admit it works. The bags don't fall out when you grab them. The dispenser is actually secured well to the post. Not impressed, but I respect the engineering. Still smells like nothing though.

Dad

The cat got one of these too. I'm curious what you make of that.

Boldo

The cat has one by the back door. That's the thing that bothers me most about this product. The cat doesn't even deserve a waste bag dispenser. It doesn't produce waste in a bag. It produces waste in a box. Now she gets to look at a shark head every time she goes outside. Why does the cat get nice things? That's not fair.

Dad

Bottom line — poo emojis. How many?

Boldo

Four. It works better than it has any right to. The clips hold bags tight. It's weatherproof. You can mount it anywhere. I hate that it's functional. I wanted to hate it more. But the cat thing still bothers me. Can I get a treat now?