Dremel 7300-PT 4.8V Pet Nail Grooming Kit

Dad

I got this for you. What's your initial read?

Boldo

It vibrates. It makes a noise that reminds me of the time the neighbor's drone crashed into our yard. I'm not impressed. Also it smells like burnt plastic and ambition.

Dad

Let's talk smells. That always comes first with you.

Boldo

Right. So the box has that warehouse cardboard smell — fine. But the device itself? Hot motor, a little electrical, like a hair dryer that gave up. And underneath that, something faintly plastic-y from the grinding band. Not terrible, not good. But I can smell last night's bacon fat in the kitchen air right now, so I'm distracted. Can I have some of that?

Dad

You've been weirdly quiet about this one. What's going on?

Boldo

I'm waiting for it to do something scary. Dad turned it on, touched my nail, and it just... buzzed. No pain. No weird pressure. But I don't trust anything that doesn't smell like meat or dirt. Also the cat is just sitting there blinking at it. That's suspicious.

Dad

Does it matter that the cat seems indifferent to it?

Boldo

Of course it matters. If Whiskers doesn't care, either it's completely boring or she's planning something. I think she's faking. She watched me get my nails done last night with this smug look. But I'm not letting her win. The grinder didn't hurt, and it was faster than Dad's giant clippers. I might pretend not to like it, but my nails feel smooth now. Whatever.

Dad

Give me a rating. One through five. You know what the poos mean.

Boldo

Four poos. I said four. I'm not thrilled to admit it, but this thing works, doesn't smell like a vet, and the cat's opinion is irrelevant. Dad didn't mess up my quick. So fine. A grudging four. But I want a treat for my cooperation.