Frisco Solid Nylon Dog Collar
You brought home a nylon collar. It smells like a factory and it's the wrong color, but I'll give it a shot since the old one is falling apart.
Dad
Okay. New thing. What do you think?
Boldo
It's a collar. It's blue. You could have gotten black. I don't have opinions yet because I haven't put it on.
Dad
I'm going to need more than that. How does it smell?
Boldo
Chemical. Plastic factory smell. The kind that makes my nose work overtime. It'll fade in a few days but right now it's aggressive. Also smells like that warehouse where your packages always come from.
Dad
You seemed reluctant to try it on. What happened when you did?
Boldo
It's actually not terrible. Sits lighter than I expected. The buckle doesn't dig in. And wait—is that bacon in the kitchen? No? Fine. The nylon feels smooth. Not stiff. It adjusted without fighting me, which is more than I can say for that Velcro monstrosity you tried last year.
Dad
Anything about this that actually impressed you? Be honest.
Boldo
The stitching is solid. It won't fall apart in three months like some brands. The buckle doesn't jangle constantly either, which means I can sneak up on squirrels again. And it survived the cat walking past me without tearing. That's harder than it sounds.
Dad
Final verdict. Don't hold back.
Boldo
It's a good collar. You spent the right amount of money. I don't hate wearing it. Stop asking me to be more enthusiastic.
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Boldo's Verdict
💩💩💩💩4 out of 5 poos. Solid nylon means what it says. No surprises. Boldo approves, grudgingly.