Hill's Science Diet Wet Dog Food

Dad

You didn't look thrilled when I brought this home. First impressions?

Boldo

The smell was fine. Better than that time you tried the organic stuff. But it came out of a can, which meant you were feeling lazy, and we both knew it. The consistency looked like something the cat would actually eat.

Dad

Tell me about the texture. I know you have opinions about texture.

Boldo

It's soft. Too soft, honestly. No resistance. I wanted something to work for—something that made me actually use my teeth. This just sort of slides down. It's convenient for you, not interesting for me. The smell carries through okay, though. That's the only reason I kept eating it.

Dad

So it's been a few days. Have your feelings changed at all?

Boldo

Look, my stomach feels good. I'm not saying it's exceptional, but I'm also not spending my afternoon regretting my choices. Is that the kitchen? Did you open the fridge? Wait, what were we talking about? Right. Fine. It's fine. I'd eat it again. Don't make a thing out of it.

Dad

The cat got one of these too. I'm curious what you make of that.

Boldo

Of course she did. You always equalize everything. She sat there licking her bowl like she'd accomplished something, and honestly, she looked smug about it. Meanwhile, I cleared mine in seconds, like I'm supposed to be impressed by her refined approach. She didn't even finish hers. Typical.

Dad

Bottom line — how many poo emojis?

Boldo

Four. It's solid. Not something I'd write home about, but it does the job better than I expected when that can came through the door. You spent the money. I'm not mad about it. That's the highest compliment you're getting from me on a wet food.