Kurgo Tru-Fit Smart Dog Walking Harness

Dad

I got this for you. What's your initial read?

Boldo

You handed me a harness. I sniffed it—plastic, nylon, a hint of warehouse floor. Not edible. Not a toy. I reserved judgment.

Dad

Let's talk smells. That always comes first with you.

Boldo

It smells like a new car but less interesting. No squirrel, no bacon. Just factory air and your coffee breath from when you opened the box. The buckle has a faint metal tang I don't trust yet.

Dad

You've been weirdly quiet about this one. What's going on?

Boldo

I'm trying to figure out if I like it. It doesn't pinch my armpits like the old one. But I just saw the cat walk past the window—she flicked her tail. That's more exciting than a harness. Hey, do we have any of those chicken treats left?

Dad

Does it matter that the cat seems indifferent to it?

Boldo

The cat is indifferent to everything that isn't a sunbeam or a can opener. Her lack of opinion means the harness didn't hiss at her or smell like her. I'll take that as a positive.

Dad

Give me a rating. One through five. You know what the poos mean.

Boldo

Four poos. It fits better than the last one, doesn't choke me when I lunge at a squirrel, and Dad stops yanking me back because he thinks it's gentle. I still don't love being strapped into anything, but this one almost makes me forget I'm wearing it.