Kurgo Tru-Fit Smart Dog Walking Harness
You showed up with some neon orange contraption that smells like a factory and plastic. I immediately suspected you were about to do something we'd both regret.
Dad
Okay. New thing. What do you think?
Boldo
Too soon. I haven't even investigated it properly. It's sitting in the living room radiating synthetic chemicals. The cat is ignoring it, which is smart.
Dad
I'm going to need more than that. How does it smell?
Boldo
Industrial. Definitely not a dead thing. There's nylon and some kind of rubber coating that smells vaguely medicinal. It's missing any character whatsoever. Someone needs to take this on a real walk so it picks up some earth smell.
Dad
You seemed reluctant to try it. What happened when you did?
Boldo
You cornered me by the kitchen—which, unrelated, I smelled chicken in there earlier, did you have chicken?—and basically forced me into it. But once it was on, it wasn't as restrictive as I thought. The fit is actually snug without choking. It distributes weight across the chest instead of the neck. Still not excited about it though.
Dad
Anything about this that actually impressed you? Be honest.
Boldo
The clips are heavy-duty and don't jingle annoyingly. The straps have decent padding. I can move normally. And the control handle on the back—which I initially despised—is useful if you need to grab me quickly during, say, a squirrel situation. I won't call it impressive, but it works better than it looked.
Dad
Final verdict. Don't hold back.
Boldo
It's a harness that actually does the job without feeling like a punishment. I didn't think I'd accept this, and I'm annoyed that I have to admit it's practical. You got the fit right too, which matters.
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Boldo's Verdict
💩💩💩💩4 out of 5 poos. Reluctant approval. It's competent, and that bothers me.