MidWest Homes for Pets Deluxe Dog Beds
Dad brought home a giant marshmallow. I sniffed it, then sat on it. That was the whole first hour.
Dad
I got this for you. What's your initial read?
Boldo
It's a big rectangle of foam. Smelled like the warehouse and maybe the van. I circled it twice, then collapsed. It didn't run away, so I stayed.
Dad
Let's talk smells. That always comes first with you.
Boldo
The factory smell wore off after a day. Then it smelled like nothing. That's suspicious. I fixed it by rolling on it until it smelled like me. Now it's acceptable.
Dad
You've been weirdly quiet about this one. What's going on?
Boldo
I don't trust things that are comfortable immediately. This one is too soft. I keep expecting a hidden zipper or a squeaker that never comes. But I keep sleeping on it. That's the problem.
Dad
Does it matter that the cat seems indifferent to it?
Boldo
The cat walked past and didn't even slow down. Good. That means this bed is mine. But he's now licking his paw on the rug. That rug smells like the treat you hid under the couch last week. I'm not distracted. I'm just saying.
Dad
Give me a rating. One through five. You know what the poos mean.
Boldo
Fine. Four poos. I'm not thrilled to admit it, but I wake up less stiff, and I haven't bothered the carpet once. Can I have a dental chew now?
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Boldo's Verdict
💩💩💩💩4 out of 5 poos. I did not expect to like this. I like this.