Mighty Paw Padded Reflective Dog Leash

You brought home a leash that smells like a factory. Not the good factory — the plastic one. I could tell immediately this was going to be thicker than the old one, which meant less control for you and more work for me.

Dad

You didn't look thrilled when I brought this home. First impressions?

Boldo

It smells wrong. Like neoprene and that coating they use on things that cost too much. I didn't want to touch it, but then I smelled your hands on the handle — coffee and that peanut butter you had for breakfast — so at least I know where you've been.

Dad

Tell me about the texture. I know you have opinions about texture.

Boldo

The padding is soft, which is fine. But it's too soft. Feels like it's trying to be a pillow. The reflective strips are raised, though, and I like grabbing something with actual dimension to it. Better than that flat nylon garbage you had before.

Dad

So it's been a few days. Have your feelings changed at all?

Boldo

Look, it doesn't slip in the rain like the old one did. That matters. And the padding breaks in — smells less like a showroom now. Also the stitching is tight. Tested it twice. Still holding. Is that bacon I smell coming from the kitchen? Wait, what were we talking about?

Dad

The cat got one of these too. I'm curious what you make of that.

Boldo

Of course she got one. Same color, same everything. Hers is thinner because she weighs eight pounds and has no self-respect. But she's not pulling as hard on walks now, which means less jerking when we cross paths. I'm not saying she looks good. I'm saying it's less annoying.

Dad

Bottom line — poo emojis. How many?

Boldo

Four. It's solid. Does the job better than expected. The padding actually helps when you're yanking me away from interesting smells. Not thrilled about the price, but I'll admit it's built to last.

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Boldo's Verdict

💩💩💩💩

4 out of 5 poos. Overpriced but dependable. I'm almost impressed, which annoys me.

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