Multipet Loofa Dog Toy

Dad

You didn't look thrilled when I brought this home. First impressions?

Boldo

It smells like plastic and dye. Not like anything real. I could tell immediately it was going to be one of those toys that feels like it's pretending to be something it isn't. Also it's aggressively yellow. That was a choice you made.

Dad

Tell me about the texture. I know you have opinions about texture.

Boldo

The outside is that squishy foam stuff that doesn't feel like meat or bone or anything useful. It compresses too easy. When I bite it, it just dies in my mouth instead of fighting back. The inside has those corded legs though—those have actual texture. Rough. Better. Still won't save the overall situation.

Dad

So it's been a few days. Have your feelings changed at all?

Boldo

Fine. I use it now. Not because it's good—because it's here and I'm bored. It squeaks sometimes which is mildly interesting. Is that chicken I smell from the kitchen? Wait, no. You're making coffee. Never mind. Anyway, it hasn't fallen apart. That counts for something.

Dad

The cat got one of these too. I'm curious what you make of that.

Boldo

The cat's is sitting in her bed and she hasn't touched it once. This tells me everything. She knows. She looked at it the same way I did and made the right call immediately. She wins. I'm stuck with mine and at least it has texture on the legs or I'd be having a real conversation with you about returning this.

Dad

Bottom line — poo emojis. How many?

Boldo

Four. The corded legs saved it from being a three. The squeaker is fine. It doesn't smell good but it doesn't smell offensive either. It survives contact with my teeth. It's a solid mid-tier toy. Not something I'd steal from the cat, but not something I'll reject when you throw it either. That's honest.