Nature's Miracle Dog Waste Disposal

Dad

You didn't look thrilled when I brought this home. First impressions?

Boldo

It smells like a cleaning aisle. Not in a good way. I thought you were going to make me use it like a toy, which seemed insulting. Then you showed me it was for my waste, which is fine, but the chemical smell is still wrong.

Dad

Tell me about the texture. I know you have opinions about texture.

Boldo

The tube itself is smooth plastic. Inoffensive. The rolling mechanism feels cheap—doesn't grip well when you're trying to position it. The actual waste bag inside is thin. I've seen sturdier bags at the grocery store. Not something I'd chew on, but not something I respect either.

Dad

So it's been a few days. Have your feelings changed at all?

Boldo

The chemical smell fades after the first day, which helps. It actually works—you twist it, the waste seals up inside, and you don't have to touch anything. That part is decent. Wait, is that bacon I smell from the kitchen? No? Fine. Anyway, yes. It's less annoying than I thought.

Dad

The cat got one of these too. I'm curious what you make of that.

Boldo

The cat doesn't deserve this. She doesn't even cover her waste properly, and now she gets a fancy disposal system? She's sitting next to hers right now, looking smug. I hate that she has one. But I hate that it makes me want one more. That's the worst part.

Dad

Bottom line — poo emojis. How many?

Boldo

Four. It works like it says. The twist mechanism is solid once you get used to it. No spills yet. The refill bags are reasonably priced. I didn't want to like it, but I do. Can we get treats now?