Nutramax Dasuquin with MSM Chewable Tablets

Dad

I got this for you. What's your initial read?

Boldo

It's a tablet. Beige. You're pretending it's a treat but I know what treats look like. I ate it anyway because I was bored and you were standing there watching. That's the whole review so far.

Dad

Let's talk smells. That always comes first with you.

Boldo

Almost nothing. That's the problem. A real treat smells like meat or fish or something that died. This smells like the vitamin aisle at the pharmacy. Faint. Clinical. Like it knows what it is and isn't pretending to be delicious. I respect that, actually. Less lying involved.

Dad

You've been weirdly quiet about this one. What's going on?

Boldo

I'm waiting to see if my knees stop feeling like they're about to betray me when I jump off the couch. Too early to tell. Also, is that the cat eating grass in the backyard? She's going to throw up on the kitchen tile. She always does. Anyway, the tablet has a slightly chalky texture. Not terrible. Not good.

Dad

Does it matter that the cat seems indifferent to it?

Boldo

No. The cat is indifferent to everything except causing problems. She wouldn't care if you gave her a steak wrapped in gold. But you gave her one of these too, didn't you. You're always trying to be fair. I've noticed. Can we get some treats now? The good ones? The ones that smell like actual food?

Dad

Give me a rating. One through five. You know what the poos mean.

Boldo

Four poos. It's fine. No weird aftertaste. You can't feel it dissolving on your tongue like it's trying to trick you. And honestly, my hips have been better the last couple weeks. I'm not emotional about it. But it's working. That's all I ask from anything that isn't food.