Old Mother Hubbard Classic Biscuits

Dad

I saw this one online. Thought it looked good. Your first reaction?

Boldo

It's small. That's annoying. I can eat a regular treat without feeling like I'm doing tricks for a crumb. But the smell is clean. Like the pantry before you open the good stuff. Not bad so far.

Dad

Okay, you've been staring at it for ten minutes. What's the verdict on smell?

Boldo

Oats. Definitely oats. Some kind of sweet thing I can't place. Cinnamon maybe. It's not aggressive like those peanut butter ones you got last month that made my nose feel weird. This one is subtle. I respect that.

Dad

Now that you've actually used it — what do you think?

Boldo

It's crunchy. Really crunchy. Makes a good noise when I bite it, which matters more than you think. Dissolves reasonably fast. Not too hard on the teeth. Wait, is that bacon smell coming from the kitchen? Did you open something?

Dad

The cat hasn't touched it. Does that mean something?

Boldo

The cat doesn't eat anything normal. She licked a rubber band once and threw up on your shoe. So no, that means nothing. She's a bad reference. The fact that I actually finished mine and looked for more means something. That's what you should care about.

Dad

Rate it. One to five. You know what the ones are.

Boldo

Fine. Four. It's a solid biscuit. No weird aftertaste. Good texture. The size is still annoying but I've adjusted. Don't expect me to be thrilled, but I won't ignore it when you pull the box out. That's as close to approval as you're getting from me.