OXO Good Grips Furlifter Pet Hair Remover

Dad

I got this for you. What's your initial read?

Boldo

It's a roller. Not for rolling on me, I hope. The handle feels like the thing you use to open the windows. Cheap plastic. No smell to it at all, which is the real problem here.

Dad

Let's talk smells. That always comes first with you.

Boldo

That's because smells matter. This thing came out of a box that smells like a warehouse. The roller itself smells like hot plastic and maybe formaldehyde. Nothing that tells me anything useful about the world. No previous dog has touched this. No animal has been near it. It's aggressively neutral.

Dad

You've been weirdly quiet about this one. What's going on?

Boldo

I'm trying to figure out if I hate it or if it's just... invisible to me. You've been using it on the couch where I sleep, and I can smell the hair being collected, which means it works, which means I have to give it credit even though watching you use it is boring. Speaking of which, is there a treat situation happening? I smell something in the kitchen.

Dad

Does it matter that the cat seems indifferent to it?

Boldo

The cat is indifferent to everything except her own reflection and that one specific sunbeam. Her opinion proves nothing. But if we're being honest, the fact that she didn't knock it off the table means it's not threatening, which is something.

Dad

Give me a rating. One through five. You know what the poos mean.

Boldo

It works. The hair actually comes off. The handle doesn't hurt my mouth when I grab it out of spite, which I appreciate. I won't recommend it to other dogs because it doesn't benefit me directly, but you clearly spent money on something that actually does its job. That's four.