PetHonesty Senior Hemp Mobility

A bottle of brown powder that smells like grass clippings and regret. You're getting old, Dad. I'm getting old. Here we are.

Dad

I saw this one online. Thought it looked good. Your first reaction?

Boldo

It's a supplement. For my knees. You're basically telling me I'm falling apart without saying it. The bottle is plastic and doesn't smell like anything interesting yet, so I'm withholding judgment. What's actually in this?

Dad

Okay, you've been staring at it for ten minutes. What's the verdict on smell?

Boldo

Hemp. Grass. A little bit of fish, which is the only redeeming quality here. Not unpleasant. Not exciting either. It's the smell of something that tastes like it was made in a factory, not a kitchen. I've smelled worse. I've smelled better. It's neutral, which is disappointing because I was hoping for something worth getting excited about. Is that salmon in there or just fish meal?

Dad

Now that you've actually used it — what do you think?

Boldo

Three weeks in and my back left leg doesn't ache as much when I get up. I notice it. Don't make a big deal about it. The powder mixes okay in my food, doesn't clump, tastes fine but not memorable. It's doing what it says it does. That's all. Wait, did you hear that squirrel in the backyard? I should check on that.

Dad

The cat hasn't touched it. Does that mean something?

Boldo

The cat won't touch anything that isn't wrapped in mystery and cruelty. She's not a measure of anything except her own bad personality. The fact that I'll eat it and it's helping means it's legitimate. She's just jealous I get supplements and she gets ignored. As she should be.

Dad

Rate it. One to five. You know what the ones are.

Boldo

Four poos. It works. I move better. The smell is forgivable. It's not thrilling, but it's honest, and I respect that. Don't expect me to jump off the couch with enthusiasm, because I won't. But I'll keep eating it. That's the highest compliment I can give you at my age.

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Boldo's Verdict

💩💩💩💩

4 out of 5 poos. It works. I move better. Doesn't taste like a punishment.

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