PetSafe Healthy Pet Simply Feed Automatic Feeder

Dad

I saw this one online and thought it looked good. Your first reaction?

Boldo

It looks like something that's going to betray me. The beeping doesn't help. But I'm willing to investigate if there's actual food inside it.

Dad

Okay, you've been staring at it for ten minutes. What's the verdict on smell?

Boldo

Plastic. Industrial plastic with a hint of old kibble somewhere deep in the mechanism. Not appetizing. The food compartment doesn't smell like much either, which is disappointing because I can't tell if you filled it or not. I'm going to need you to prove it works.

Dad

Now that you've actually used it — what do you think?

Boldo

Fine. It worked. The portion dropped at the right time, the kibble came out at an actual temperature instead of sitting in a bowl all day getting stale. Wait, is the cat eating my food right now? She's definitely eyeing my bowl. Anyway, it's practical. The timer is loud enough that I know when to expect dinner. That's something.

Dad

The cat hasn't touched it. Does that mean something?

Boldo

The cat is smart enough to know this isn't her problem. She gets her food on a regular schedule from you standing there like a servant. This is my chaos machine. But also, the feeder doesn't dispense cat food, so she's not interested. Can't blame her. Do you have treats, by the way? I feel like we've been talking about food for a while and haven't actually eaten.

Dad

Rate it. One to five. You know what the ones are.

Boldo

Four. It does the job. Reliable. Not exciting. But it keeps me on schedule and the kibble stays fresher than it would in a bowl. I didn't expect to like it, but I do. Don't tell anyone.