Purina Fortiflora Dog Probiotic Supplement

Dad

I saw this one online. Thought it looked good. Your first reaction?

Boldo

The box is smaller than I expected. I gave it a quick sniff through the cardboard. Smelled like a chicken factory that’s been sanitized. I was not impressed.

Dad

Okay, you've been staring at it for ten minutes. What's the verdict on smell?

Boldo

Smells like a chicken farm explosion concentrated into a packet. I’m not saying it’s bad, but I need to know: did you finish the peanut butter jar? Because I saw it in the trash and that’s a different kind of betrayal.

Dad

Now that you've actually used it — what do you think?

Boldo

You sprinkled it on my dinner. I was offended. Then I ate it. Then my stomach didn’t make that gurgling sound that usually wakes you up at 3 AM. I will grudgingly admit it worked.

Dad

The cat hasn't touched it. Does that mean something?

Boldo

The cat is a snob. She only touches things that are obviously meant for her. If she ignored this, it could mean it’s for dogs, which is a plus. Or she’s planning something. I’m watching her.

Dad

Rate it. One to five. You know what the ones are.

Boldo

I’ll give it four poos. One poo per good night’s sleep I’ve had since this stuff hit my bowl. I did not think I needed a powder. I was wrong. Don’t expect me to say it again.