Regalo Easy Step Walk Through Pet Gate

Dad

I got this for you. What's your initial read?

Boldo

It's a gate. I already knew gates existed. This one is easier for you to open than the old one, which means less interesting resistance when I decide to push through. The step thing at the bottom is weird though—had to test it twice to make sure it wasn't booby-trapped.

Dad

Let's talk smells. That always comes first with you.

Boldo

Plastic dominates. Some faint metal underneath. The hinges smell like machine oil—not unpleasant. What gets me is that faint cardboard smell from the box is already fading. By tomorrow it'll just smell like your kitchen, which is whatever. No chemical smell though. I appreciate that.

Dad

You've been weirdly quiet about this one. What's going on?

Boldo

Is there chicken in the fridge? I smell something. Anyway, the gate works. That's the problem—it's just competent. No drama. It doesn't pinch. The latch is smooth. I can't really complain about something that does exactly what it's supposed to do, and that pisses me off more than a broken gate would. Wait, did you say chicken?

Dad

Does it matter that the cat seems indifferent to it?

Boldo

It should matter. That's how I know the cat respects it. Or doesn't care. With her it's hard to tell. If she could go through it and I couldn't, that would be an issue. But she's not even trying, so I guess it's genuinely functional for both of us. Doesn't make us friends though.

Dad

Give me a rating. One through five. You know what the poos mean.

Boldo

Four poos. It's solid. Does what it says without drama or surprise failures. I've tested the step mechanism twenty times. The hinges don't squeak. The latch holds. You can open it one-handed. I'm not thrilled about admitting any of this, but there it is.