Rescue Remedy Pet

Dad

You didn't look thrilled when I brought this home. First impressions?

Boldo

Because it smells like a medicine cabinet had a fight with a flower shop. The alcohol is strong. I don't trust liquids that smell like that. And the label says it's for 'nervous pets.' I'm not nervous. I'm observant. There's a difference.

Dad

Tell me about the texture. I know you have opinions about texture.

Boldo

You drop it on my tongue and it's wet and medicinal and it stays there for too long. Not pleasant. The flower smell gets stronger when it's in your mouth. Chamomile, I think. I've smelled it in the yard. I don't want to eat flowers. I want to smell them and pee on them.

Dad

So it's been a few days. Have your feelings changed at all?

Boldo

I'll admit something. The edge is off. I'm not pacing as much during thunderstorms. But don't think this means anything. Wait, is that chicken cooking? Did you just open the fridge? Never mind. Anyway, it works. I still hate the taste.

Dad

The cat got one of these too. I'm curious what you make of that.

Boldo

The cat got one? So now we're both walking around half-sedated like some kind of peaceful household. That's irritating. I wanted to be the only one with the advantage. She's already insufferable at nap time. Now she's insufferable AND calm. But at least she's not knocking my water bowl over at 3 a.m., so I guess there's that.

Dad

Bottom line — poo emojis. How many?

Boldo

Four. It actually works. The taste is terrible, the smell is weird, but I sleep better and I'm not spiraling every time a car door closes. You won. This product isn't terrible. Don't expect me to be happy about it.