Rocco & Roxie Professional Strength Stain Remover

Dad

Okay, I bought this. You were there when I opened the box. What did you think?

Boldo

The smell was aggressive. Like someone decided that pine cleaner and fake citrus needed to have a baby and raise it in a lab. I watched you spray it on that stain by the couch. I stayed on the other side of the room. Not because I was scared. Just preferred being away from it.

Dad

Let's talk about the smell. I know that's your main thing.

Boldo

It's strong. Really strong. The kind of strong that makes you think something actually died in the carpet and this is what death smells like after a shower. But here's the thing—after it dries, it mostly goes away. Not completely. There's still a ghost of it, but you can actually live in the house again. Better than some things you've bought that smell like chemical warfare for three days.

Dad

You've had some time with it now. Is it any good?

Boldo

I watched you use it on that coffee stain from last week. The one I didn't make, by the way. That was the cat. Anyway, you sprayed it, let it sit, and the stain came out. Completely. I didn't think it would work that well. Is the cat getting her teeth cleaned today? I smell someone at the vet's office from here.

Dad

I paid $12.99 for this. Be honest. Worth it?

Boldo

Yes. I hate admitting that, but the stain is gone and you're not renting a steam cleaner or throwing the couch out. That's worth twelve dollars. You've wasted money on worse things. That squeaky toy from last month, for instance. Still have trauma from that.

Dad

Final answer. Would you recommend this to other dogs?

Boldo

To other dogs? I don't know other dogs. But if you're asking if your friends should buy it—yes. Tell them it works. Tell them the smell is intense but temporary. And tell them it's cheaper than replacing furniture or hiring someone to come clean. It's not fancy. It just works. Can I have a treat now?