Rocco & Roxie Professional Strength Stain Remover

Dad

Okay, I bought this. You were there when I opened the box. What did you think?

Boldo

I thought it was a new toy. The box had that crinkly sound. Then you pulled out a bottle. Not a toy. The cat was watching from the couch, looking smug.

Dad

Let's talk about the smell. I know that's your main thing.

Boldo

It smells clean. Like someone tried to erase the evidence of my existence. But there's an undertone. Something enzymatic. It's not bad. Actually, I smell bacon? No, that's just wishful thinking. Where is my breakfast?

Dad

You've had some time with it now. Is it any good?

Boldo

It works. I tested it on the rug near the door. That spot I keep revisiting? Gone. No lingering smell. I tried to lick it afterward. Do not recommend. Bitter. But effective.

Dad

I paid $24 for this bottle. Be honest. Worth it?

Boldo

Twenty-four dollars? That's like... ten bully sticks worth. But you yelled less after using it. That's worth something. Fine. Yes. But I still want a treat for cooperating.

Dad

Final answer. Would you recommend this to other dogs?

Boldo

Yes, if you have a human who cares about clean carpets. It removes the evidence of your accidents. But don't expect any reward. Humans just call it 'responsible.' I'd rather have a new toy.