Ruffwear Front Range Dog Harness

Dad

You didn't look thrilled when I brought this home. First impressions?

Boldo

It smelled like warehouse plastic and disappointment. You held it up and I thought we were going back to the vet. Then you put it on and it was tighter than I wanted, but not in a choking way. More like a sweater for someone's mid-life crisis.

Dad

Tell me about the texture. I know you have opinions about texture.

Boldo

The webbing is thick nylon. Not soft. Kind of scratchy at first, but it doesn't absorb slobber like that garbage harness from last year. The padding on the chest part is smooth, almost feels like you're wearing something expensive. Which you probably are. Is that bacon I smell from the kitchen?

Dad

So it's been a few days. Have your feelings changed at all?

Boldo

It moves with me now instead of bunching up. The handle on top actually works if you need to grab me, which you don't, but I get why you might want to. The buckles don't slip. I still wouldn't choose to wear it, but if you're making me go somewhere, this is the least annoying way to do it.

Dad

The cat got one of these too. I'm curious what you make of that.

Boldo

The cat looks ridiculous. Which is satisfying. But also she moves faster now and she keeps escaping before our walks are over. This harness gave her confidence she didn't need. I'm not mad at Ruffwear though. That's on you for equipping the enemy.

Dad

Bottom line — poo emojis. How many?

Boldo

Four. It does exactly what it promises without falling apart or smelling like regret. The design is thoughtful. The durability is there. I don't love it, but I respect it. Which is probably higher praise than I've given anything you've bought me.