SodaPup eMoji Bone Enrichment Lick Mat

Dad

I saw this one online. Thought it looked good. Your first reaction?

Boldo

You put a bone-shaped mat on the floor and expected me to lick it instead of chew it. I stared at you. Then I sniffed it again. It smelled like a yoga mat that wants to be a treat.

Dad

Okay, you've been staring at it for ten minutes. What's the verdict on smell?

Boldo

It barely smells like anything. Like clean plastic with a hint of factory. I need smells, Dad. But I admit, when you spread peanut butter on it, the smell improved. Not as good as the inside of a tennis ball, but passable.

Dad

Now that you've actually used it — what do you think?

Boldo

I licked it for a solid eight minutes. The little bumps kept me going. But then I realized I was just licking a mat, not getting any actual food. This is like a puzzle where the prize is more licking. Speaking of prizes, do you have a treat? I'm working hard here.

Dad

The cat hasn't touched it. Does that mean something?

Boldo

The cat is smarter than me. She watched me lick the mat for a while, then walked away. That means she either knows something I don't or she's plotting something. Either way, I won the mat. She can have the cardboard box.

Dad

Rate it. One to five. You know what the ones are.

Boldo

Four. It's not a steak, but it kept me busy during your work meeting. I'll use it again. But I won't be excited about it. It's a tool, not a treasure.