Temptations Classic Cat Treats

Dad

You didn't look thrilled when I brought this home. First impressions?

Boldo

I was skeptical. These are for the cat. Why are you asking me about cat food? But fine—they smell like chicken and fish mixed together, which is suspicious. The bag is loud when you open it. I don't like loud bags.

Dad

Tell me about the texture. I know you have opinions about texture.

Boldo

They're crunchy on the outside, soft in the middle. I've watched the cat eat them. She crushes them fast, which means they probably don't have good chew longevity. If these were dog treats, I'd be annoyed. For a cat? She seems to think they're acceptable. The texture isn't offensive, but it's not impressive either.

Dad

So it's been a few days. Have your feelings changed at all?

Boldo

The smell has grown on me. Not in a good way—in a way that makes me want treats too, and you keep saying 'those are for the cat.' It's unfair. The bag sits on the counter and I think about it more than I should. Speaking of treats, do you have any of those peanut butter ones left? The ones I actually like?

Dad

The cat got one of these too. I'm curious what you make of that.

Boldo

She's insufferable about them. Walks around like she's superior now. Acts like they're gourmet. She drops crumbs everywhere and I'm tempted to clean them up but I have standards. The fact that she enjoys them this much makes me distrust them. Cats have bad judgment. But I watched her eat three in a row yesterday without throwing up, so maybe there's something to it.

Dad

Bottom line — poo emojis. How many?

Boldo

Three. They're fine. Not bad, not great. They do what they claim—the cat eats them, she's happy, nobody gets sick. I'm not thrilled I have to watch someone else enjoy treats I can't have. But I can't say they're garbage. Just say you're buying the cat treats and move on. Are we done here? I smell kibble in the pantry and I'm getting distracted.