Whistle Health & GPS Pet Tracker

Dad

Okay, I bought this. You were there when I opened the box. What did you think?

Boldo

The box smelled like plastic and ink. Not interesting. You seemed excited about it, which made me suspicious. Then you clipped this thing to me like I'm some kind of prisoner. I stood very still and stared at you until you felt bad.

Dad

Let's talk about the smell. I know that's your main thing.

Boldo

It smells like a manufacturing facility in China. Rubber and chemicals. Nothing natural. After three days the smell faded a little, which was the best thing that happened. It doesn't smell like food or anything worth investigating. Complete waste of nose attention.

Dad

You've had some time with it now. Is it any good?

Boldo

Fine. I'll admit it works. You checked your phone seventeen times yesterday to see where I was even though I was sitting next to you on the couch. The weight is barely noticeable now. Wait—is that the cat eating from my bowl? He's doing it right now. Can we address this instead of talking about the tracker?

Dad

I paid around $100 for this. Be honest. Worth it?

Boldo

If you're the type who worries about me getting lost, yes. I'm not the type to run off, but you clearly needed this peace of mind. The battery lasts forever. The app works. You're not getting scammed. It's just expensive for what it is—a location beacon that I didn't ask for.

Dad

Final answer. Would you recommend this to other dogs?

Boldo

Recommend it? No. But if your dog's human is anxious and has money to spend, it's not going to hurt anything. The device won't bother you after the first week. My only real complaint is the smell wore off before anything interesting happened. Tell your people to buy the collar in a color that doesn't show dirt.