ZippyPaws Skinny Peltz No Stuffing Squeaky Toys

Dad

I got this for you. What's your initial read?

Boldo

It's a squeaky toy that looks like a sad flattened squirrel. But it fits in my mouth nicely. I can toss it without it bouncing into the couch. That's a win.

Dad

Let's talk smells. That always comes first with you.

Boldo

It smells like a plastic bag that was stored next to a tennis ball. Not great. But there's a faint undernote of something… I don't know, maybe the factory had a dog. I've been sniffing it for ten minutes.

Dad

You've been weirdly quiet about this one. What's going on?

Boldo

It doesn't make that satisfying crunch of stuffing. That threw me off. But the squeaker is high-pitched and I can bite it without getting fabric in my teeth. Also, you're holding a treat in your pocket. I can smell it. Focus.

Dad

Does it matter that the cat seems indifferent to it?

Boldo

The cat is indifferent to everything that isn't a sunbeam. But no, it doesn't matter. If she wanted to play, she'd bring her own toys. This one is mine. All mine. And it doesn't have stuffing for her to shred.

Dad

Give me a rating. One through five. You know what the poos mean.

Boldo

Four poos. I am not enthusiastic. I am reluctantly impressed. It's durable, doesn't leave fluff on the floor, and the squeaker still works after three days. That's a solid four. But if the cat ever touches it, I'm dropping to three.