ZippyPaws Skinny Peltz No Stuffing Squeaky Toys

Dad

I saw this online and thought it looked promising. What's your first reaction?

Boldo

It's not a snake. That's good. The squeaker is right there in the middle which is stupid because I'm going to destroy that first. But I like that it's thin. Less choking hazard, more whipping it around the room. I'm still not sure about the fabric though.

Dad

You've been staring at it for ten minutes now. What's the smell verdict?

Boldo

Industrial. Like the warehouse it came from. Not the good smell—not food, not the park, not where the neighbor's boxer marked that fence post. But it's fading already which means I'll actually want to carry this thing around. The rubber squeaker smells like rubber. Nothing special.

Dad

Okay, you've actually used it now. What do you think?

Boldo

It squeaks. A lot. Annoying in a way that's kind of fun. The fabric is thin nylon or whatever so it tears if I really commit, which I did to that one spot. You're going to have to supervise this one. But the shape is good for carrying. And it's light. Wait, is that bacon I smell from the kitchen?

Dad

The cat hasn't touched it. What does that tell you?

Boldo

That the cat has good taste. Also that this is definitely a dog toy and not some weird shared thing. The cat looked at it once and walked away. That's usually a sign something is either smart or boring. In this case, probably boring to her. Good for me.

Dad

Rate it. One to five. You know what the bad ones are.

Boldo

It's solid. Four. The squeaker will last maybe two weeks if I'm not bored, the fabric won't last much longer, but for the price you paid it's honest work. I didn't want to hate it and I don't. That's the best I can do.